The Gift of Letting Go of the World as We Understand It

"That means our control is limited to

how we respond to the things 

we can’t control".

It’s no secret that today’s culture is raising up a generation that wants what it wants when it wants it. A society that seeks, demands, and thrives on instant gratification. Who expects and even feels entitled to getting what “they” feel “they” deserve.

Now, this might sound like a Millennial-bashing rant, but the reality is that we are all guilty of this. And many of us probably don’t even realize it. But if we are truly honest, we know that people (including ourselves) are selfish by nature. And, we are often the center of our own universe. We like to be in control of our life, our future, and so on. We like to know what to expect before we commit, and we want to have the power to change that expectation to our preferred outcome.

Whereas there are some things we can control, the truth is that most things we cannot. The only things we actually have control over is our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. That means our control is limited to how we respond to the things we can’t control. And most of us do a terrible job at controlling these few things! No wonder we aren’t in charge of the universe!

Ok, now that we have the brutal truth out there about how depraved we are as sinful and imperfect human beings, we can take this moment to be thankful for God’s grace and that He loves us anyways.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. (Romans 5:8)

But then what? If this is true (and it is) and we don’t have as much control as we think we do and that we often behave like rebellious children when we don’t get what we want (although that behavior gets slightly more polished and obscure as we get older making it more socially palatable, but no less real), then how do we embrace this reality instead of pretending it doesn’t exist while trying to move through life as our own God? Or better yet, how do we receive this truth as the gift it is? I suppose the first step is simply acknowledging the truth.

Sometimes We Slip into a Condition-Based Faith

There is nothing wrong with wanting things to be a certain way, or praying for what we want or need. In fact, we are encouraged to do so:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

However, at the point it consumes us and becomes bigger than God, we have a serious problem. This is a dangerous place to operate from because our faith becomes conditional and we start bargaining with God. We say things like: “ok God, I’ll do that as long as I get this”, or “I surrender everything to you God, except (insert exception here)”, or “God, I trust you, but I’ll handle it just in case”. We begin negotiating with God, and when we don’t get what we asked for, we blame Him or we jump in to “help God”.

The problem is we become so focused on the subject of our prayers than the One to whom we pray. We become more consumed with creation than the Creator. We become self-centered instead of Christ-centered. We start choosing our will over His will, and then somehow convince ourselves that we are committed to God’s plan while failing to acknowledge that we have placed expectations on God.

God’s “No” Tests the Very Foundation of Our Faith

The truth of the matter is that sometimes we pray for things and God says “no” or “not right now”. In our limited capacity, we cannot understand how a loving God would answer in this way. Although there is promise after promise in scripture to encourage us and remind us that God is bigger than a specific moment in time, sometimes it’s hard to hold on to those promises when the loss feels great.

For example, we may pray for healing of a loved one. And in that prayer, we believe wholeheartedly that God can and will heal that person. But what happens to our faith if He doesn’t? What if they are not healed? Do we second-guess Him? Did we ever really trust Him in the first place? Did we actually put our hope and trust in God, or did we inadvertently put our hope and trust in the specific outcome we wanted or expected?

Our response (that thing we actually do have control over) in this moment is critical as it reflects the true depth of our faith. Our response becomes an opportunity to respond in either a way that glorifies God or not. Do we become angry? Angry with the doctors? Do we become resentful toward God? Or, even toward the ill loved one? Do we become hateful and bitter? Do we lose faith? Do we lose our source of joy and hope?

Oftentimes when we begin our Christian walk, we have an expectation that life will be full of joy and peace. We expect God’s plan for our lives to look a certain way. To feel a certain way. We start off on this walk with excitement, feeling as if we are fully committed and surrendered to His will without realizing we have already subconsciously started carving out His will for our lives.

The reality is God never promised that the Christian life would be easy. In fact, He told us it wouldn’t be and that we should expect affliction and suffering.

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all”. (Psalm 34:19). Furthermore, we are instructed to rejoice in the hard times. “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Romans 5:3-4).

See, His promises lie in an eternal hope that is far bigger than our understanding allows us to fully comprehend right now. Sometimes we must endure long seasons of suffering as we "wait" for God to unfold the fullness of His plan.

Waiting Sucks!

Oh, you know you were thinking it. Seriously, who likes to wait? Waiting can be excruciating, especially when we are not certain what the outcome will be. It would be so much easier to trust God if we had a guaranteed good outcome or a promise to hold on to. But oftentimes God feels distant or silent when we are waiting and we begin to wonder when or if He will ever answer our prayers.

It’s in these seasons that our character and our faith are put to the test. “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?” O Lord, how long? (Psalm 13:1-2). I think we have all experienced this place at some point in our lives when we feel like we are waiting in the dark, afraid that we have been forsaken. Afraid our prayers go unheard. These moments when we’d almost rather He just say “no” than go through another second of agony wondering and waiting.

Most of us can be patient for a little bit. But generally speaking, we are an impatient society. As mentioned earlier, we want what we want and we especially like to be in the know. But nonetheless, we can often find the strength to endure the wait for a short while as we grip on to our hope and faith in God. However, as time goes on, this becomes increasingly challenging. I can barely wait a week to see how a “to be continued” television show ends. I can’t imagine how Abraham felt as he waited 25 years for God to deliver His promise…and “patiently” nonetheless!

“And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised”. (Hebrews 6:15)

Abraham provides such a good model of waiting in the Christian life. This is a man that many of us can identify with. If you study his life in Genesis, you'll see his humanity and how he sometimes doubted God's protection. He tried to step in and do things his way through Hagar, perhaps thinking he'd help God like we often do. Abraham struggled with patience. But in Abraham's life, we also see the purpose for God's timing. It was while Abraham was waiting that God was working in his life, molding him, teaching him, and building their relationship. It was during those 25 years that Abraham got to know God intimately. 

It's funny that we often think of waiting as a total waste of time. We are often so focused on the destination that we overlook the beauty of the journey. We are often so consumed by the outcome we are seeking that we are utterly blind to the gifts right in front of our eyes, sometimes even trampling right over them as if they are nothing but obstacles in our way. We are often so riddled with discontent of "what is not" that we fail to appreciate and receive "what is". 

Those 25 years of waiting created a foundation of unshakable faith which was put to the ultimate test when Abraham was asked to sacrifice the child of promise he had waited so long for. Can you imagine? If Abraham had clung on to his own understanding of the fulfillment of God's promise, He would not have taken his son Isaac to be sacrificed. He would have clung tightly to his son feeling entitled to keep him. But the reality is God could have fulfilled His promise any way He chose, such as raising Issac from the dead if He needed to. But, ultimately Abraham's faith was not rooted in the promise of descendants; it was rooted in the trustworthiness of God. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5).